Unbreakable II

First of all, let me speak different. I'm seriously trying my best.

Women are, well, simply and obviously different from men. They see in different perspective, different angle and different belief. They work for different reasons, they sing different lyrics and act different. Though they are different from men, women can be extremely different from each other. Well, most especially at times they have to decide, and say goodbye. Creusa and Andromache. Two wives who had to say goodbye to their husbands who were to go to war, and had no choice but to beg. Ah, of course women are mothers, too. In both cases, there must be more than just being a widow. Of course, they were both afraid of being one, standing alone, working alone, all for the sake of their sons. Yes, a son. Aside from being a widow, they must be, or were really, afraid that their sons would lose their fathers. Seeing your child weep out and cry hard because he is extremely hurt and having a hard time, will be the most painful scene a mother will see, ever.

To share the pain might be a very good idea. Or, perhaps, not. Being a girl, I live the usual way, I mean, just the simple way of living. I smile, I celebrate, I cry, I get betrayed, I get unappreciated, I fight, I ignore, I forget, I forgive. I know everyone else does. Does it mean everyone lives the usual way? I ask myself such questions. I finally understood that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do. The scene of the two women begging for their husbands to stay broke my heart, not just because it's a tragic scene, but because I know that someday, I may come to the point where I have to choose as well. I was afraid. And now, even more afraid, seriously to grow up. Hahahaha. I was moved by how they "begged". So instead of saying I felt sympathy for them, I better say I feel sympathy for myself. Reasonably, because I exist and they don't. I have to be stronger, and be matured enough just to welcome such trials and decisions to make with a smile.

Yes, I felt sympathy for the two, I really did. But as I became a bit selfish and focused about my same view, I learned to set my mind for the better, to be stronger and to accept challenges. I'm pretty sure if you reject problems you can't escape at all.

Unbreakable

Growing up. Just a usual phrase, exciting but actually tragic. But no matter how life can be so hateful after such change, no one can actually escape it. No choice but to go on, since there's no point of going back. Aeneas lost most of his family and friends on his journey. He had to be fearless when it's his only choice to survive. Realizing things little by little, I realized that if not for the negative, we won't see the positive. Well, it's usual, that phrase. But actually, if we see the negative, we tend to see more of it because we hate the feeling. When we hate it, we start to care. Like when you're happy, you don't care at all, because you're enjoying it. Smile. As I was saying, victory isn't all about the prize, but about the will and the goal. It might sound silly hearing it from me, but Aeneas who has became so fearless and hopeful in such hopeless situation, had been much stronger than ever. Yes, it's tragic since he lost almost everything. He sobbed, wept out, cried hard and cursed, like you usually do when something very hard happens to you. Getting angry makes you stronger, and that's an advantage. But life, is usually too dangerous and scary, we'll never know what awaits us. Aeneas had a very long, meaningful journey. He experienced a lot and learned a lot. He had a very hard time. He had his most cruel moment of life. He learned to fight for his life. He learned to overcome his fears. Congratulations to all the Aeneas-like people out there. Everyone has gone too far. We're growing up every second and that's really tragic. Hahaha.

Never Grow Up

"He must have had a very hard time." Crazy as it is, I really thought about it. What if Aeneas did exist? I would feel such pity for him. Maybe, thrice the pity I feel for him as a fictional character. Yes, fictional but do you even wonder, if he really existed before, or is he still alive, his soul on someone else's body? Hah. Creepy. All I really mean is, do you even wonder if we are Aeneas, too? Well then, I must pity myself. But Aeneas is not me. If it's Aeneas, I pity him. If it's me, I hate myself and curse life. Everyone knows what fate is. The word fate is notorious, for ruining people's lives. Hahaha! A momentum wrecker, I guess? I don't wanna speak about myself so I'm speaking about Aeneas. His life was like 'usual' but simple. But then, it came the time that he had to choose between his family, his life, his future or his country. Vintage and epic, I agree. He was living his life in the best way. He was happy and fearless. Like a little kid, who only cares about his toys and his playtime, but still curious about other things which he should not get involved to. I'm not saying Aeneas got curious about dying or fighting. Hahaha. But he got new things to get involved, too. He  had grown up, unfortunately. So instead of saying I pity Aeneas, I think it's better if I say "I see life as a tragic journey. It's unfair because it's not constant. I pity myself for knowing it only now. If I knew it earlier, I'd do my best not to grow up. I wish I'd never grown up."