Secret Greetings

             He would call me 'Derp' or 'Squid'  and I'll frown for a little while and he'd mess my hair. And I know he's pretty sure I'm already okay. Sometimes, in school, he'll block me from going inside my room, just to ask me, "Can I help you with your things?" After school, we'd go to some restaurants together, and buy me lots of food, and parfait. We wouldn't care if we'll go home late. We'd stay in the baseball field in our school again for some minutes, and talk about superfluous things. We'd race all around the field, and who ever gets first to the starting line, would guzzle those expensive drinks we both bought. I won once, but he didn't let me drink his. Stupid. -.- I love him, and I love it. During weekends, we'd go to the park. I won't forget to bring my sketch pad and pen, and he'll bring his phone and headset. We'll seat together in a bench, I'll draw anything I see, while he sings any song from his phone, mostly ballads. It's not bad at all, he sings from his diaphragm, he has this song conveyance, I bet he offer every song he sings for someone. I looked at him once while sketching and he was closing his eyes. I started to sketch the figure of his face and his pointed nose then he suddenly woke up and saw mine. I panicked and said, "Uh, I want to draw anime." So I drew those pointed hair and cool eyes. There was this one time that he boycotted a tryst with his friends because it was my birthday.  I wasn't happy about it. In fact, I was scared that his friends might get mad. During rainy days, he would get me out of my room and we'll run outside the house, and we would play with mud and scream out loud as if rains only happen once. "Babushka." He'd say a smile when we got to part ways in school, meaning 'goodbye' or what. And so I told my friends, babushka. When I talk about Kpop, he'll have that vacuous expression on his face. But, he's continuously handsome, just like the waves of the ocean, it wouldn't stop. He hated rambunctious areas, but managed to deal with it when he reached high school. He was a heartthrob. And honestly, I was jealous and worried he would forget about me and stop hanging around with me. He didn't do that, of course he wouldn't.


               Being a younger friend, he treated me like a little sister, just as how he treated his consanguineous siblings. Students in the campus often misunderstand us for being so close. I always get bullied actually. Some girls would show me a picture of an epitaph, with my name inscribed on it, with blood as well. He's punctilious, very exact on everything he says. That's why people around him get easily hurt and think he's a snob and a bully. Once I felt like shrinking and disappearing because of what some mean girls said about me, he said obnoxious things about them, how they look, how they speak and everything. Hng. Indeed his tongue is like a haft, it's not yet hurtful but makes people collapse to death. Remembering all those thoughts and memories, his silent death cursed my heart again. He'd been so quiet and we weren't able to talk. I regret everything, I surely do, including that truth that I loved him. And it's hurting me until now, because I still love him. I wonder if he knew. I wonder if he shared the same thoughts as mine. Appease his soul. This ephebe whom  I shared almost a part of my lifetime.